


Become the Beast

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Spy Kylo Ren, double agent Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27404542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: When Ben Solo turns to the Dark Side, it’s all a fake.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Kudos: 10
Collections: Bad Day Collection, The Darkpilot Library





	1. Method Acting

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call this me belatedly jumping on the double-agent-Kylo train. I’m late to the party, I know, but I think it makes a fascinating AU. Title from a Karliene Hannibal filk song.

The garden planet of Demetrius. Even as Ben landed there, he could not help but notice with fascination the sort of strange, possibly carnivorous plants that grew there. That were sprouting there. Ben could almost imagine them, possibly devouring him if he wasn’t careful. 

Even walking amongst the garden, the strange, twisted garden of evil, Ben knew that he would find Snoke there. Had to, actually. He could already remember what Uncle Luke said. 

“ _If we’re going to take down Palpatine for good, we’re going to have to beat him at his own game. What did Palpatine do to defeat the Jedi? Played the long game. Made himself look like a friend when he was really an enemy. And that’s what we need to do, Ben. Beat Palpatine at his own game...”_

That was something that Ben was already afraid of. He wasn’t a genius, a Revan or a Traya or anything like that. The most he had were his shielding techniques that he and Uncle Luke had practiced. Now he had to actually put them into practice. 

Snoke was working in the garden. There was something about him, Ben thought, where he just looked odd with that garden cap of his on. Almost...goofy. Then again, Palpatine had been able to disguise himself as a kindly Chancellor. 

Looks could be deceiving. 

Snoke looked up at him, and that smile — dear Force, it would have looked more flattering on a firaxan shark. "Young Solo!” he said. "What a pleasant surprise.”

”Yeah.” Ben couldn’t help but cringe at least a little bit watching the scars on Snoke’s face. Including the most grisly one, one that seemed to bisect his skull. “Look what Master Skywalker did to you."

”It is nothing, Ben,” Snoke said. “Of course, I have a feeling you didn’t just come by Demetrius to gloat.”

Ben winced internally at the idea that Snoke would even think that. “Actually,” Ben said, “I came to join you.”

If Snoke was only pretending to be surprised, Ben had to give him credit for acting — even as the gardening tools fell from his hands. “You...would offer your allegiance?”

”I would,” Ben said. “I want to learn from you." He took a deep breath. "I haven’t been satisfied with my days at Master Skywalker’s Academy."

”Is that so?” Snoke said. 

”Exactly. I fear that he is limiting my potential. I fear that he underestimates my capabilities and limits what I understand, what I am able to accomplish." It was strange, how even reciting those words was enough to make Ben remember when he’d felt that in the past. That feeling, like if-everyone-thinks-I’m-gifted-until-I’m-sick-of-it-why-do-they-hold-me-back. That feeling, that Ben already hated.

”Go on,” Snoke said. That firaxan shark smile again. Ben tried not to be revolted by that smile, that showing of teeth. 

”And at the same time, he expects things of me,” Ben says. "He expects me to be either a hero or villain. A savior or conqueror. And...I don’t think I can take it.”

”Of course he does,” Snoke rumbled. “He is a fool. Truly. He doesn’t know you like I do.”

He cupped Ben’s face. Ben tried, at least, not to shudder at how cold Snoke’s hand was. 

”I can help you,” Snoke said. “I can save you. All you need to do is say ‘yes’ and I will give you everything...”

Ben had to pause just enough before the ‘yes’ to make it believable. 

***

"The Knights of Ren,” Snoke said, “May very well train your abilities. Of course, the price of admission is a heavy one..." A beat. “Have you thought of a name for yourself?”

”I’m working on it,” Ben said. That wasn’t a lie. Not really. 

”Excellent.” Snoke clapped Ben on the shoulder. Why did his hand have to feel so cold, Ben thought. “The Knights of Ren are not like the Sith, but they leave their old names behind when they become who they are. You may yet do the same.” A beat. “Any regrets about that?”

”No,” Ben said. “I hate the name ‘Ben Solo’.”

”You were named for legends,” Snoke said. 

”And that’s the problem,” Ben said. “I could never live up to those legacies. Obi-Wan died before I was born, and ‘Solo’ isn’t even my father’s real last name. It’s a lie. Everything is a lie.”

Even as he spoke, Ben wondered absently if he went overboard on the stereotypical-fallen-Jedi-overdramatic-tantrum thing.

”So you’re learning.” Snoke said. “Do you have a name for yourself then?”

Ben thought, impulsively, back to the times when he and Poe played together. How he had pretended to be a boy named Kylo. Prince Kylo, Jedi Kylo...and of course he thought of including Poe in those roles too, so Poe wouldn’t feel left out. 

”It’s stupid,” he said. “It’s a name I thought of when I was a child.”

”And that’s why it is right,” Snoke said. “Children tend to be the most truthful with these things...”

***

While Snoke was taking a transmission from Brendol Hux, Ben sent a quick message on his datapad to Luke, saying he was nearly in. Nearly in. Close to his goal, but out of reach. Ben just hoped he could keep his memory of Poe close, memories of Prince Kylo, Jedi Kylo...all for the trials ahead. 


	2. Hunter’s Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben heads to Elphrona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Elphrona. That was where he was heading next. He’d kept Luke posted on his actions, and Ben hoped that he could complete his mission to the last. 

Even as Ben sat back in his seat on the _Grimtaash,_ he couldn’t help but think that he was going in, far too deep, with this. After all, how could he possibly pull this off for long? Without blowing his cover, without becoming a monster himself? 

He could only imagine the story of Revan, in his mind. Revan had started off with this grand plan to take down the True Sith in the Unknown Regions — and he’d become a monster himself. 

It would be so easy, wouldn’t it? So simple, to become a monster, without even considering that you were becoming one...

You could become one without thinking about it. 

Ben could only hope that he could, at least, keep himself from becoming the monster that he feared. He could imagine it, looming over him, furious, imposing, demanding. Waiting to devour him until there was nothing. 

He closed his eyes. He’d have to reach Elphrona soon. That was the last place he'd seen Ren. The last place that he’d left his mask, the strange silver helmet with a red engraving on it. 

His dreams...well, they were a mess. 

***

Elphrona. Ben jolted awake just in time as the ship exited hyperspace if only to hover over the planet. Last time he’d been there, he’d been there to collect artifacts. A lot of them. Ren had been there, and he’d, for some reason, left his mask there. Had he hoped Ben would take it back as some sort of trophy? It made no sense, Ben reflected. 

He steered the ship smoothly into some sort of landing, a landing outside the Temple that he’d once been to in order to collect artifacts. 

He didn’t think he would be back at the age of twenty-three to finish what his grandfather started. 

Ben entered the Temple. There was something about it that seemed to stretch out forever, that seemed too vast. Too ancient. Ben could feel it, in the air, in the towering statues. 

Ren’s mask seemed almost quaint in comparison. 

And it was calling to him. 

Ben frowned. Would Ren’s mask do something ridiculous like send him the coordinates to his next destination? Or something. Wherever Ren was...

Still, he walked over, almost like he was in a dream, and slipped the mask over his head. 

_Didn’t think we’d hear from you again, kid,_ Ren’s voice said, wryly, in his head. 

”You could say I changed my mind.” Ben was grateful for his mental shields being in place; he hoped this bizarre telepathic link didn’t go both ways. “Snoke...recommended I come and find you.”

_Snoke, huh? Come meet me and the Knights on Vanrak; we can talk for a bit._

“All right.” A bit. Ben hoped that it didn’t mean that it was about to go wrong and lead to a lightsaber duel in the process. 

***

He contacted Luke, and then Poe. Reassuring them both he was on his way to Vanrak. Luke assured him that he knew exactly what he was doing. “I’m proud of you, Ben,” he said. Ben hoped that he would do something to earn that pride. 

Poe was next. “Just be careful,” Poe said. “I don’t like where this is going. I can’t help but think you’re being...used.”

”It’ll work out for the best,” Ben said. “I know it. I...appreciate you very much.” Stars, he could have at least said to Poe he loved him before he went off to his uncertain doom. At least. 

Poe seemed to wince a little, before saying, “Same, Ben. Don’t forget to shield. Shielding’s good.”

Ben nodded.

He couldn’t help but think, as the transmission ended, that this wasn’t the only thing that Poe needed to help him with. 


	3. Falling Faster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben starts to get acquainted with the Knights of Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Vanrak. Even as Ben landed there, he couldn’t help but notice how...ordinary it seemed, the Knights of Ren hanging out in a bar. It was something that he didn’t consider, even as he stepped off the ship — towards the bar. 

He hoped, at least, that he could at least keep his composure while he was dealing with Ren. 

Ren was there. In the bar. Even as Ben entered, he thought that he could hear Ren and the rest of the Knights talking. 

It was Ren who faced him, removing his newest variation on the silver-mask-with-a-red-engraving (how many copies did he have, Ben thought, bewildered) and said, “You’re here.”

”Yeah.” 

”You haven’t had any good deaths yet,” Ren said (whatever that meant), “But we can work on that. Right now, you should probably lose the Jedi robes. We have a reputation to maintain.”

Ben had to admit, trying on the black sort of uniform, that it helped him slip into the part further. 

***

It was later that Ben turned to look at Ren. “I have a question.”

”Shoot, kid.”

”Why are you carrying a lightsaber? I mean, none of the other Knights do.”

A shrug from Ren that seemed almost grotesque, just watching the movement of Ren’s burned shoulders. What _happened_ to his skin, anyway? “It’s...symbolic, kid. I’m the leader; I call the shots. You could say I’m something of a living symbol, someone who’s...representative of the Knights as a whole."

Ben frowned. He had a feeling that Ren wasn’t telling him everything, but he wasn’t about to push it. 

Maybe Ren had — no. Palpatine had carried a red lightsaber and he was no Jedi. Not really. 

” ‘Sides, kid, it doesn’t matter,” Ren said. "I’m here right now. Where I came from, who I was before...it’s not important. You don’t spend time mulling on where you came from, did you?”

Ben, eventually, shook his head. 

”You look better, at least,” Ren said. “Fitting the role more. Well, until you get the masks proper. Yeah, I know you’re gonna ask about the masks — they’re more symbols than anything else. We’re not important as much as our mission.”

Ben wanted to ask if they even had a mission, but wisely kept his mouth shut. 

"Let’s go find something to burn,” Ren said, softly. All but pouring poison into Ben’s ear. 

It was all for the cause. All for the mission. Just to blend in. 

Ben tried to keep that in mind, even as the concept of burning things seemed almost repulsive to him.

***

Ren did burn the village, boil the seas. Even as Ben watched, he was grateful he had his shields up — he only hoped that he could keep his face relatively composed. 

”You’re awfully quiet, kid,” Ren said, softly. “Scared?”

”No,” Ben lied. 

”Think you’re lying about that. You're vulnerable. You’re young.” A squeeze of Ben’s shoulder that felt almost repulsive. Ben tried not to shudder. "You’re delicate. I’ve been doing this for years on end. Years, kid. Before you were born.”

”How long?” Ben said. 

Ren let out a breath. He seemed almost...tired, Ben thought. “I think the years have blurred together, kid.”

Ben could catch images. Snippets, from Ren’s mind. Ren, recovering from injuries that should have killed him, again and again and again. 

”You keep coming back,” Ben mused. 

”Oh. Oh, you’re _good_ , kid,” Ren marveled. “Perceptive, that one. Snoke said you can read minds. Probably some sort of empath, or telepath.”

Ben nodded. “I’ve had it as long as I can remember,” he said. 

”Huh. I’ve heard of stuff like that. Just wonder if it ever drives you crazy, kid.”

Ben paused. Now that he thought about it, there were times it did. Listening to the sounds of the universe...

”A little,” Ben said. 

***

It was when the Knights were safely asleep that Ben sent the report on what the Knights actually did to Luke — and then a missive to Poe telling him that he was all right. It was something where Ben had to leave out his worries, his fears; he didn’t want Poe to worry. To come looking for him. He had a job to do, after all. 

He couldn’t ask Poe if he was doing the wrong thing. 

He couldn’t ask Poe if he was deluding himself. 

He couldn’t do any of it. Not if he was going to take Palpatine down from the inside. 

He just had to be the good little double agent. Minding his manners and keeping his head down. It was, in the end, all he could do. 

Even if he was deluding himself. Even if he would most likely slip down the path of Revan and Malak before him. 

Ben turned over, uncomfortably, onto his side. Feeling the discomfort of the bed even more keenly against his side, against his ribcage. 

He shouldn’t start to hate or get angry with Uncle Luke yet, right? Uncle Luke knew what he was doing. Uncle Luke had a plan. 

Stars, Ben thought as he all but forced his eyes shut, he needed to sleep. 


	4. The Slow Blade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lines blur further for Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

They had a mission to Mimban. Ben already had a feeling it would go wrong for the people they were targeting — and now he was with the terrified prisoners. 

It was Ren who broke the silence. 

”You know, I think I’ll just kill him.”

Ren was standing over the prisoner in that moment, and he almost seemed like an angel of death. Almost. Burned, horribly scarred, menacing all the same. 

”Ren, wait,” Ben said. “There’s a better way. Really.”

He could already feel the hesitation shaking his fingers, and he hoped that Ren wouldn’t notice. He knew that the mission was counting on him. All but everyone was counting on him. 

Ben reached out. He had always been able to read thoughts. Now — he wondered if there was a way to use his ability to talk telepathically to Snoke to his advantage. 

_Hello_ , he tried, reaching out towards the prisoner. 

The prisoner didn’t speak. Ben could feel his suspicion, his tension — anticipating more pain. 

_I’m Ben. I’m not actually with the Knights of Ren_. 

_Thought so, naive-Ben_ , the prisoner said, in his mind. It felt, Ben thought, almost chirpy. _You walk like one that doesn’t belong here. Your clothes look like they were taken off a corpse._

_Um...thanks?_

_Thailus. Name Thailus. Ours is a peaceful planet, but these mean men came in and dragged me from my home! I just want to see my family_. 

Ben had a feeling, at least, that Thailus’ family was already dead or imprisoned. The Knights weren’t the merciful type. 

_I just need an artifact_ , Ben said, _I’m taking down the Knights from the inside — but they won’t believe me unless I actually get something for them..._

Thailus told. A pause, but then he told. 

Ren scoffed. “Wow, kid, didn’t think you’d do it that quickly. Boys, if you’d be so kind...”

”Ren, wait — ”

Too late. Ben could feel Thailus’ terror, all the more, as Vicrul ran him through. 

”Any objections?” Ren said. 

Ben didn’t voice them out loud, but he found his hatred of Ren starting to bubble beneath the surface. 

***

They got the Mind-Splinter. Of course they did. Ren cocked his head as Ben climbed out of the pit, the other Mimban guards frozen. “Gotta say, kid,” he said, “You’re...good. Maybe too soft, but you’re good."

”It’s better to have another see through your eyes than to close theirs forever,” Ben said. He thought of Kreia, also known as Darth Traya, when he said it. Brilliant, but also destructive. 

Ren cocked his head to the other side. “You’re saying that we could...convince these people that we’re right. The philosophy of the ren.” A squeeze to Ben’s shoulder that felt like a vise. “Smart kid. Snoke knew what he was doing, sending you.”

Ben nodded. Tried to put on a look of pride at Ren’s words. 

Kriff, he was not a good actor. 

***

It was when the Knights were resting for the night that Ben contacted Poe. “I — I can’t do this,” he said to him. "D-don’t come after me, but I can’t do this. They killed a man. They killed a man who just wanted to see his family, and — ”

“Ben,” Poe said, slowly, “It’s not your fault. I know you. You would have tried to help him. I know it.”

”I suck at this double-agent thing.”

”You don’t,” Poe said. “You’re doing the best you can. Ben...I believe in you. We all do.”

Ben smiled feebly. “You shouldn’t.”

”Too bad. We are anyway,” Poe said. 

Ben almost laughed. Almost. And for a moment, just a moment, he could say that he was all right. He wasn’t all right with Thailus’ death and he’d make sure that Ren and his merry band of murderers and thieves paid for it, but...

”Get some rest,” Poe said. “Really.”

”You too.”

Even as Ben fell asleep on a too-hard bed, he could safely say that Poe was at least helping him through all this. 


	5. Proving It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stakes get upped for Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It was when Ben woke up from his nightmares about a man in an avian-looking mask that he could swear that he wished Poe was there, just to offer him reassurance. That Uncle Luke was here. That anyone was here — even Voe, who didn’t seem to like him much.

He could have sworn that he had never felt a greater sense of being alone, and he hated it. 

He wasn’t alone, of course. He had alerted Luke of what the Knights had done to the people of Mimban, and hopefully, he thought, Luke could do something. Assuming Luke knew what he was doing. Assuming Luke had a plan. 

Assuming. Ben already hated it. 

***

”Snoke’s pretty impressed with you,” Ren said. “Though he thinks you could use some...honing.”

”Define ‘honing’,” Ben said. Somehow, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t like where this was going. 

“Snoke, just for a change, thinks you should be trained,” Ren said. “We don’t usually train our members. Not usually. You just have to be able to touch the Shadow, and to have the...gumption to do things.”

”Gumption.” That was one hell of a word for saying that you were willing to kill.

”Yeah, kid, exactly. You’re gifted, but you’re too soft. Too kind. I think we need to work on that. You haven’t really killed before.” A beat. “We can change that, though.”

Already, Ben could feel his insides turn to writhing snakes, but he nodded. “You think you can fix me?”

”I can prove it, kid.”

Already, the idea was repulsive. In the back of Ben’s mind, he could only imagine what would happen if he failed. Snoke, taking over the galaxy. They’d lose everything, and the galaxy, if they failed. Poe would be in danger, everyone would be in danger. 

“When...” Ben took a deep breath. “When do we start?”


End file.
